F.E.A.R. as an acronym means “False Evidence Appearing Real”, this is what the world knows fear as. Growing up we all had different meanings of the word fear.
Maybe it was that bully at school who took your lunch money. Maybe it was approaching that girl who you were madly head over heals about and fearful of rejection. What about the time of getting behind the steering wheel when you were younger fearful of not passing the driving test and having you friends laugh at you.
Whatever fears you’ve faced growing up until this point in your life, they have all come from within. Outside influences that have internalized patterns within you to have certain thoughts and feelings prevail from within.
Years ago an opportunity presented itself to me, an opportunity to move on from one place in my life where I thought I’d stay forever to another. Was I fearful of this change? Absolutely! Why? Because I was comfortable.
Change is good and change is something that we fear most.
You probably already knew this, but did you know that being comfortable is a dangerous place to be?
Did you know that fear will allow you to believe that your situation will never change (no matter how much positive thinking or affirmations you do)?
The place in my life that I was at was not all lollipops and bubble gum, it was a deep dark place that resided from within. My self-esteem was down. I was over weight (it happens to the best of us) and had no guidance or inspiration of any sort.
I don’t know about you but that’s not a place i’m willing to visit again no matter how tough it gets.
Feeling unmotivated, sluggish and not feeling like doing anything productive at all…I thought to myself, “What do you want to do with your life?”
I’ve always had a knack for helping people and listening to their problems and figuring out solutions to overcome them. People were naturally drawn to me (maybe it was my southern twang), people always seemed to resonate with me, people always respected me.
Years prior, I was a high school standout. We are talking a pure stud (6’2 230lbs) on the football field. Ambitious, motivated, tip-top shape, built like a mac truck. I felt impenetrable and on top of the world as nothing could stop me from accomplishing what I set my mind to do.
If you’ve ever played sports, I’m sure you’ve had butterflies before the game…the fear of uncertainty. You’ve trained all year, all summer and all week to prepare for this one moment, which seemed like it lasted an eternity. Yup, those butterflies (aka small fears of of uncertainty that are racing through your mind).
I don’t know about you but I knew I was one of the best at what I did when it came to the world of sports. Even though my mind, body and spirit was aligned with winning the game and giving it 100% something just wasn’t right.
Fear?! What was that back then? I laughed in it’s face. It comes in all shapes and sizes, mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.
You owe it to yourself to be GREAT!
It took some time to understand that I, at one time, had a fear of public speaking. Actually getting in front of people and having them stare at you while you are giving a speech or presentation freaked me out. I would sit in the classroom and watch and critique everyone else, well that was until the teacher finally called on me. (By this time I knew exactly how I wasn’t going to give my presentation based off the feedback of others prior). So, I get up in front of the class ready to give my presentation, prepare my speech outline, get ready to say the opening paragraph. Nothing! Stage fright.
I thought to myself, “You have 5-7 mins to give you presentation let’s just get through this.” Was I afraid of what others would think about me? No! Did I have everything I needed to give an impeccable speech? Yes. Well, what really happened? After I fumbled through words to get through the presentation and after class ended the professor pulled me aside.
She said, “When you learn how to overcome your fear of public speaking you will be unstoppable because that is what 90% of people fear the most.” She was right, so I took that moment in my life as a learning experience and began to master that fear that was buried deep within for so many years.
Needless to say I finished the class and learned that to master my fears that I must master my thoughts and emotions and learn how to master myself from within.
Outside influences are just that…”influences”. I’ve learned that I have to power to really hone in and control those influences, thoughts and actions. Too often people give power to those outside influences and as those influences grow so does the fear with them.
From that moment in my life I owed it to myself to be great in anything I do. Be the best at whatever it is you do. You owe it to yourself.
Think BIGGER And Win!
I began to think bigger and let go of my limiting beliefs that were holding me back up until that point in my life. When I began to think bigger that’s when all the fear started to dissolve. By not limiting myself to what others thought about me or what others would say (even if they haven’t said them yet) helped overcome the fear of failure. Who was I really competing against anyways? Bruce Lee said it best, “There is NO competition.”
Think about that! Have you tried to compare yourself against the competition whether it’s your spouse, co-worker, business partner or friend? Eliminating the thought about competition will allow so much more clarity in your life and alleviate a lot of stress (which is fear induced).
Think back to when you were a child, you had no boundaries and you knew no fear. You didn’t really care about what others thought about you and you could fight and be best friends again with your friends. Fear didn’t exist in your mind. What would if be like to have that same attitude now in your business or your life?
That’s right, we’ve grown up and are so self-conscious that it’s impossible for that to happen. BUT what IF you could just let go, for a moment, and allow yourself to drift back into a state where you could feel that feeling again of what it was like to not have a care in the world and become that kid again to conquer and take on the world?
Would that not be a powerful way to enjoy and live your life? That’s one way that I’ve learned how to overcome the fears that may arise within, maybe you should try it…you may be surprised at the results you get. You may be surprised at how happy and fearless you become again. Overcoming the fear from within is something that you must constantly put in check when there is a voice that says, “No you can’t do that or you aren’t good enough”.
There is nothing in this world that can hold you back except YOU…and when we are finally no longer afraid of ourselves we will conquer the fears that lay dormant within.